If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
