I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
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