I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
