Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
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