i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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