Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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