***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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