): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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