I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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