The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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