Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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