i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
