he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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