i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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