he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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