yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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