Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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