his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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