I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
