It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
