my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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