I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
