i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
