i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
