just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
