p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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