nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
