Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Randomize
