Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
