The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
