i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
