It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
