He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize