Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I cockslap morals
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
