her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
