I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
