He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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