I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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