a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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