Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
