Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Randomize
