my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize