Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
