Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
