I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
