I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
