You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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