on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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