I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
a search helicopter?!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
