dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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