so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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