Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
