I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
