hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
