MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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