new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
