Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
