I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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