No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
