on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
