She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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