big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
