There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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