dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize