Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
