took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
