textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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