i would punch a child for taco bell
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
