Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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