i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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