I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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